Spiritual Lessons from a Dysfunctional Family-Forgiveness

I think my family inspired the Jerry Springer Show. We were dysfunctional before they gave people TV shows for those sorts of things. It's almost like we were on the cutting edge of some big trend. Who could have predicted that the tables would turn and dysfunctional, messed up families would become the norm, rather than the exception.

Back when I was living in the thick of dysfunctionality, we tried to keep it a secret. Who knew there was so much money to be made in parading our pitiful existence before a national audience? But, wasted opportunities for making gobs of cash while exposing our most awful secrets isn't really my subject today.

If I had a reality TV show today based on my dysfunctional family I would focus on helpful life lessons learned from your dysfunctional family. I know, not many people would tune in and everyone would lose money. Dramatic, weeping victims get better ratings.

So, here's chapter 1 in Life Lessons Learned in a Dysfunctional Family:

The most important lesson that I learned was forgiveness. I won't share a lot of sordid details about how my formative years were spent, (except to refer to my opening sentence about Jerry Springer). As you can imagine a lot of people who are related to me did a lot of stupid things. We hurt each other physically, mentally and emotionally. We made fools of ourselves at work, at school and in the community at large. Some people pitied us. Others hated us. Everyone was ashamed of us. There are some who would tell me that I have every right to never speak to many members of my family ever again. But really, what does that accomplish?

Long ago I came to realize that I was born into a family of imperfect human beings doing the best they could with what they had to work with. God was not a part of our life back then, so we were all floundering around, trying to figure things out. Along the way some really awful stuff happened. Do I have reasons to harbor bitter grudges? Sure. Will I grasp hold of that pain and claim it as mine? No way.

What a waste my life would have been if I'd never found the power to forgive. How could I expect to be forgiven in return?

I guess forgiving those who hurt you--and still may not realize that they did--is one of the best ways to love as Jesus loved.